twitterbymachiavelli

Twitter by Machiavelli

Imagine if astute political observer and philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli parachuted back into our world to see all the strange new media specimens of Planet Earth twittering away during their idle moments. How would he react? What would he conclude?  You may recall that we once tackled this important question in the context of email , but now we have a more curious – perhaps innocent but possibly more sinister – activity known as twittering.  Such activity has re-energized social networking, reasserted (once again) the viral hegemony of A-listers like Robert Scoble, provided yet another sandlot for migratory marketers, and even managed to get a guy out of jail on the power of a single word (“arrested”).

Anyway, I recklessly bumped into Niccolo on the street while we were both twittering about, well, going across the street. We decided to sit down over Italian roast and biscotti to discuss his acute observations. Most importantly, he had started to carefully analyze and “segment” all the curious personality types and behaviors emerging from Twitter land. I couldn't resist sharing his thoughts.  Please contribute your own categories.  Your contributions will be credited in the final version.

- Niccola (channeled through Pete Blackshaw)

 

TweetBacks

TweetBacks: These are folks who use Twitter as a real time focus group for immediate feedback. Robert Scoble, Steve Rubel, and many others use Twitter like an open-end survey tool. Niccola wonders out loud whether these folks will get buried.

FlackSmackers

Flacksmackers: These are journalists or high-reach bloggers who use twitter to publicly complain – nay, groan – about lame PR or shill-induced pitches. Niccolo cites Brian Morrisey of Ad Week, for example, as someone who’s on a “Hair Twitter” to out bad pitches and shills.

SpamSneakers

SpamSneakers: These are the folks who use Twitter as just another marketing channel for pre-existing content. They just drop the URL from the blog, newsletter, or web page with something like “Just blogged this.” Niccola warns that such individuals still have an “early adopter grace period,” but warns of backlash and mass mutiny.

BrandBaggers

BrandBaggers: These are folks who “bag” anything related to their brand, and use tools like Twitter as a customer-service or resolution proxy.

BankRunners

BankRunners: These are the folks that post “end is near unless you act now” messages, potentially eliciting a sense of panic – a run on the bank, if you will -- among the Twitterites. Here’s a sample post from high reach Twitter maven and search guru Danny Sullivan (http://twitter.com/dannysullivan): “smx advanced 85% sold, less than 100 tickets left. today's early bird deadline so more will go. not joking, book now”

RingCiters

RingCiters: These are the folks with real or virtual “Ring side” seats at sporting events who can’t resist the temptation to share even most mundane play-by-play, as though the rest of Twitter nation is glued to their modern day Howard Cossel inspired tweats. Really exciting stuff like “he’s about to shoot" or "Ken Griffey's at batting practice."

Tweetniks

Tweetniks: People who try to write prose with twitter. Everyone once and a while you will find someone turning twitter into the modern day haiku.

FamilyTweeters

FamilyTweeters: These are folks (like myself) who Twitter about the most mundane of family related issues. We’re usually (mistakenly) convinced there drama and engagingness in silly comments like “Just changed a diaper,” or “Back from Childcare.”  Nicola warns me that family tweets will decrease the more my Twitter network grows.

ProudRouters

Proud Routers: A quintessential “connector,” a Proud Router loves to forward things from other Twitter posts. In Twitter parlance, the Proud Router usually puts the @ in front of twitter profiles. By definition, they are “social connectors” and they love to bring folks together, make introductions, and take credit for matchmaking. Former colleague Max Kalehoff (http://twitter.com/maxkalehoff) is a classic proud router.  Niccola urges moderation here.

TravelTeasers

TravelTeasers: These are the folks who create a bit of mystery and mystique about exactly where they are. Are they really on business? Could it be a job interview? A secret affair? Sometimes we just don’t know, but we can’t resist playing out scenarios when they say something like “Here at Amsterdam Coffee House" or something.

WeightWatchmen

Weightwatchmen: These are the folks who believe Twitter’s potential for peer pressure might have motivational value for losing weight or achieving some other major goal. And so he or she reports results in real time – e.g. “Just swam 20 laps.” Niccolo points to uber-early adopter Jason Calcanis (http://twitter.com/JasonCalacanis) who now posts photo to Twitter of himself on the treadmill.  Niccola has doubts about this tactic.

TweetSquaters

Tweetsquaters: for example, the dude who registered an account ostensibly from John McCain. http://twitter.com/johnmccain (Source: Steven Tompkins). Then there are the bogus tweets, the folks who falsely impersonate http://twitter.com/SteveJobs or http://twitter.com/chucknorris. These are folks (sinister or entrepreneurial, depending on your view) who “squat” on well known Twitter names. Niccola points to

Judah

AdverTweeters

Advertweeters: Lots of brands are Twittering these day, observes Machiavelli..  Tony Hsieu (http://twitter.com/zappos) of Zappos.com has nearly 4,000 folllowers– a sign of Zappos.com appeal – but in the process of his fans following even his most mundane activity on the Zappos.com publicity tour, a whole heck of a lot of branding and advertising takes place. 

Twitterati

Twitterazi: Even worse than Paparazzi, Nicola warned. These are the folks that send twitter updates on any scoop or personality they see, touch, or even imagine. Sometimes it’s supported with a link to a photo or video feed.  Sometimes you feel like the Twitterazi are after you at conferences.

GameTrappers

Game-Trappers: This is when someone posts a twitter message an entire distribution list hoping to snare an unsuspecting target to respond (usually in error) to the entire group. The “Game Trapper” tries to force adversaries to take sides prematurely, especially when they know how others will most assuredly pounce on the first responder. They also know that it is extremely difficult to unwind a bad response

What's Missing? Send Feedback

Please use the comments below to add any obvious or missing behaviors...or personality types?  Niccolo is OK if others can apply his method to the environment around him. He just wants to make sure we're always peeling the onion on human behavior.  So again, what's missing?  Leave your comments below.  Thanks. 

-- Niccolo (channeled through P. Blackshaw).

NiTwits

NiTwits: That special, all too common breed of Twitterers that are not terribly interesting.  (Courtesy of Nick Huhn)

Twittercide

Twittercide: When someone abuses their followers with too many posts, too boring, too much information, just too much that results in people *unfollowing* them.  Courtesy of Lydia Sugarman

TwitterTwits

TwitterTwits - the truly clueless that somehow managed to wander into the scene and cannot, for the the life of them, seem to figure ouot how to get out. Twittering bleakly about "It's so dark in here, I haven't found an exit..."    Courtesy of Alpha Geek (whoever you are)

Tweaser

Tweaser:  A Twitterite who "teases" followers about upcoming events but doesn't really reveal anything  Example below.

TheBornTwitterer

Twitter users who use Twitter to record the live play-by-play of major events like births.  Not proven, but one Max Kalehoff may be among the first recorded testers of the "LaTwit" method.