email by machiavelli(tm)

Welcome to My Blog!

Welcome to my blog.  Blogging, I'll admit, beats quill & scroll, but I daresay danger lurks for those naive to the power of mass citizenry embracing such powerful, and viral, tools of expression. Indeed, a sure recipe for trouble and instability.  Which is a good segue into the point of this blog.  Consider me your teacher and counselor in both offensive and defensive use of e-mail.  We'll cover tricks, tactics, and -- oh yes -- a multitude of e-mail traps.  If you a rush, here's a quick article summarizing my thinking, recently channeled through a naive, unsuspecting writer.   Then I suggest you move immediately to my introduction.  Comments welcome.

Introduction - The Axis of E-Mail?

E-mail is everywhere. Omnipresent and ubiquitous, it can even be redundant!   It all began innocently enough, but the innocuous novelty that entered our lives only a few years ago has mushroomed into an imposing communication vehicle in overdrive. We can now exchange ideas (or the lack thereof) better, faster, and cheaper;  but these benefits are often accompanied by woeful tradeoffs: information pollution, bloated inboxes, 'spam,' and a thinly veiled parade of office treachery and politics.

The ugly side of e-mail is laced with sinister trickery, internal power-plays, audit trails, time-traps, flat out stupidity, and plenty of ego. Every unsuspecting recruit in today's diverse workforce should become familiar with the battlefield of e-mail. Lest we stay three steps ahead of this innovation, e-mail threatens to enslave us.

But fear not! You are reading the essential blog to a thickening morass of e-mail practices and personalities. It's part translator, part 'how-not-to' manual, and part early warning system. Lest you capitulate to the sordid lows of cynicism, we want to assure you that there is indeed hope to apply this medium for good and noble aims.

E-mail can help you lead, toot your own horn, nurture and grow your “viral” relationships (we’ll let you figure that one out), and send electronic payments to your favorite charity.

Book (or Blog, however you want to call this) Organization

To keep you ahead of the game – to help you watch your back and launch your own e-mail missives with precision -- we’ve divided Email by Machiavelli in two critical parts: practices and personalities.

E-Mail Practices: What are the specific tactics and strategies people use to get ahead using e-mail. Are they all bad? Which ones can you spot a mile away? What practices should I covet and which ones should I avoid like AOL spam!

E-Mail Personalities: How do you spot an e-mail personality? What are the unique characteristics of folks who exploit e-mail to their benefit? Look in the mirror – do you possess many of these characteristics? Here we’ll help you sift the evil to the innocuous to the just plain dumb.

Welcome to E-Mail by Machiavelli. Sure you’re ready?

Tactics: The Bank Shot

It always pays to have others make or reinforce your point. Hence the “Bank Shot,” whereby you send e-mail to one party fully confident that they will forward it as an “FYI” to your desired target recipient.  Bank shots are particularly effective if those you are using to redirect your comment also benefit from forwarding good or insightful news. Use others to make your point, and save your chits for the bigger draws.

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To:  Manager Joe
From:  Mack
Subject:  Did You See This?

I thought you’d like to see this.  I’m not sharing with anyone else in case you want to forward to others. 

Personalities: The e-Headliner™

In most companies, information pollution, fueled by e-mail, is reaching crisis proportions. The “Headliner” understand that to stand out in the crowd, and ensure that his or her e-mail is read, is skilled at writing e-mail headlines. They know from experience and careful analysis what gets read and what gets the response. To wit: MAN BITES DOG!

Personalities: The Early Adopter

Email continues to integrate new and better functionality, such as HTML, Flash, audio and video. The “Early Adopter” is the person in the office who’s always first to market to push the e-mail envelop. One morning you might check your e-mail and see a link to an audio message from this person. The next week, you are looking a streaming video of this person saying “Buenos Dias.” Chances are, this person used Napster when we all thought the term referred to a hair condition.

Personalities: The SheMale Emailer

You've decided to make that new friend, but there is still much you don't really know about him/her/it. If she is a doctor of juris prudence, why does she ask How R U? If she does all her shopping at Victoria's secret, why are her pictures always from the chin up? Beware! Some relationships were never meant to last.

Personalities: The Night Shifter

In accounting, there’s FIFO (First one in, first one out) and LIFO (Last one in first one out), but in the world of e-mail there’s the online equivalent of “last man standing.” This is the work fanatic who thrives of demonstrating their dedication and commitment t work. This person leverages the late-night equivalent of the “Time Stamp” as a signal that you are everywhere, everyplace, armed and ready to respond, even to a fellow night-shifter who thinks (erroneously) that he or she can drop an e-mail at 2:00 AM without a nary a response from the recipient group until mid-morning. Usually these folks are in some need of counseling.

Personalities: The Early Bird

The “Early Bird” sets the pace for the rest of the organization by taking first crack a either sending or responding to e-mail. You cat always detect the tell-tale signs of early bird in action when you arrive at work and notice a stream of six messages in a row from the same person….starting at 4:30 AM.

Personalities: The Blind Copy Wimp

This is the person who takes the term CYA (Cover Your Ass) to the extreme, and feels the uncontrollable urge to BCC their boss or colleagues on every piece of e-mail correspondence. Rarely will this person give the original recipient any clue that the e-mail is being shared with the boss or others.

Personalities: The Next Door Bunker

Here’s the guy (or gal) who sits right in the cube immediately in front of you, or behind you, and sends you a small arsenal of daily email, even for really stupid stuff like “wanna go to lunch.” This person lives in a silo and forgets what it mean to just knock on someone’s door to say “yo..let’s have lunch.” This person also goes overboard on “Instant Messenger.”

Personalities: The Next Door Bunker

Here’s the guy (or gal) who sits right in the cube immediately in front of you, or behind you, and sends you a small arsenal of daily email, even for really stupid stuff like “wanna go to lunch.” This person lives in a silo and forgets what it mean to just knock on someone’s door to say “yo..let’s have lunch.” This person also goes overboard on “Instant Messenger.”

Personalities: The Sloppy Epologist

The “Sloppy E-Pologist” often knows exactly what he or she want to convey, but is ready to retreat in a nano-second in the event the feedback backfires. They usually say things like “don’t hold me accountable for this, as I’m writing a mile a minute and just trying to get this off my chest.” The tell-tale signs include misspelled words, choppy sentences, run-on sentences, and – oh yes – prose in lower case letters.

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To: Mr. Big
From: The Sloppy Apologist
Subject: quik thought to for consideration

Just a quick stream of consciousness idea….suggest we not hire steve…just have a bad feeling….don’t feel like he gets it. If you don’t agree, don’t hold me accountable for this as just typiing a quickly asi can.

Personalities: The Crutch-Meister

Some folks can stand on their own two feet when sending an e-mail directive, recommendation, or plan of action. Others, less secure in their authority or standing, need to fortify their mail by copying a higher-up – this to increase the odds of compliance. Hence the “Crutch-Meister.” While this tactic can be quite effective, it does bring with it the risk of “wear-out.” In some cases, it can backfire, not only with your target audience (they may view you as a wimp) but also even with the boss you are copying (same problem).

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To: Mr. Manager Joe
From: The Crutch-Meister
CC: Mr. Big
Subject: My Reco Re: Adding Vanilla Coke to Vending Machine

Few decisions we’ll face this year are as critical as this one. I propose…

Personalities: The Credit Monger (TM)

This is the person who JUST can’t wait to get great, often self-promotional news on the e-mail wire before anyone else. Often, the Credit Monger is part of a larger group receiving great news – e.g. a sales call that rocked – but rushes to any available net connection to spray the rest of the organization with the news. When the boss receives the news, the Credit Monger usually gets top billing in the “To” section of his or her response e-mail.

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To: Distribution
From: The Credit Monger
Bcc: Mr. Big
Subject: Our Fabulous Meeting Today!

Just wanted to share the great news! IBM is now a customer! They loved the demo, accepted our pricing, and will rollout soon. We just returned from the meeting.

Tactics: The Exploding Offer

Alas, silence is golden, and now we’re moving into real trickery. The Exploding Offer is a close cousin of the Time Stamp and involves sending an e-mail to someone from whom you need permission, blessing, or implied endorsement. Rather than ask for a signature, or a formal reply, you simply assume all is cool unless you hear otherwise. Works particularly well with higher-ups overwhelmed with e-mail. In this exercise, silence = consent.

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To: Mr. Big, Manager Joe
From: Mr. Mack
CC: Distribution List
Subject: My Recommendation to Move Forward

So that’s the plan. Unless I hear from you or others, I’ll move ahead.

Tactics: The Disposable Thumbs Up

Credit is free. The wise and shrewd e-mailer knows how to dole out credit, or reinforce great work when it really matters. Hence, when a compliment enters circulation – even from the Boss -- it can’t hurt to reinforce it with an throw-away “Thumbs Up!” Recipients typically file such kudos in what I dub the “Smile File” (see next chapter). This in turn builds goodwill for your next draw.

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To: Distribution List
From: Mr. Mack
CC: Mr. Big
Subject: Great Job!

I agree! She did an amazing job! I saw it first hand!

Tactics: eFlycasting

Flycasting is the process of using e-mail to test concepts and ideas with work colleagues. Usually, a skilled practitioner of e-mail will “eflycast” ideas off other colleagues before sending a more fine-tuned recommendation to the boss. They treat the e-mail environment as a focus group.

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To: Distribution List (All)
From: Mr. Mach
Subject: What if…..

Just thinking out loud, but how would folks feel if we scheduled more business travel for Mr. Big. I think it would really help the business to have him attend a trade conference every week.

Chapter Intro - Personalities

Now let’s move on to individual personalities. E-Mail culture has spawned a host of unique personalities within organizations, all adept at leveraging the medium to achieve their objectives. Staying ahead of the game requires a special ability to identify, harness, or sandbag these personalities as they take full advantage of this e-mail medium.

Chapter Intro - Tactics

Delivery is everything in e-mail. How you send it! The form and presentation. Who backs it, and who doesn’t! Are you direct, or indirect, and which method has more influence. Are there some tactics that bring out the weakness or insecurity of your intended recipients, and when is it wise to employ those strategies. Let’s take a look at some popular delivery approaches in the world of e-mail. In each case, we’ll attempt to provide an example you can relate to. Ready?

Tactics: The eVolley

The volley is a short e-mail intended to keep a group e-mail exchange alive. The person hitting the volley might ask a rhetorical question expecting others to immediately jump in. It might also address an issue the person knows with certainty another person in the discussion flow will jump in an address.

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To: Distribution Group
From: Mr. Mack
Subject: Did You See This?

Joe raises a great point! I totally agree! What do others think? Steve?

Tactics: The Direct Shot

Just like it sounds. A direct, often short, missive, recommendation, or point of view to your intended recipient. You may or may not copy others. A successful direct shot is dependent on a number of factors: your power status in the organization, the depth of your support network, and your willingness to take risks. The average worker sends multiple “direct shots” a week. The boss sends hundreds.

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To: Joe Worker
From: Mr. Big
Bcc: Friends of Joe
Subject: Your Performance

Your presentation sucked! Remedial training is in order. No response necessary.

Tactics: The Forward Pas™ (Faux Pas)

Usually unintended, this is when the sender opens with a personal note, often to soften the businesslike tone. The recipient, pressed for time, copies others in the reply…which includes your personal note. In the extreme cases, the note gets perpetuated to all levels. Do not try this at home!

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To: Joe
From: Mr. Mach CC: Budget Team
Subject: Re: Thanks and A Request

Joe – no problem re: budget requests. I’m cc’ing my team to help get the deliverables.

To: Mr. Mach
From: Joe
Subject: Thanks and A Request

Jim, great to catch up over drinks. Was so hungover barely made it to the 10:30 AM staff meeting. Hope you fared better. Anyhow, my budget is due tomorrow, and I need the following asap. Can you pull for me.

Tactics: Topspining

This is a variation on both the “Bank Shot” and “The Assist” and involves fortifying e-mail before it moves up the management chain. A manager might say “Great idea, send me an e-mail and I’ll give it some ‘topspin’ before shooting it to the big boss.” By the time it reaches the key decision maker, the e-mail may have several layers of “Great Idea!” endorsements. An e-mail with lots of topspin usually has higher probability of achieving its initial objective.

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To: Mr. Big
From: Mack
BCC: Applicant
Subject: Attached Resume

Check this out! Fabulous candidate! Note the 4 years of experience in Java C++++ programming!

Tactics: Smile-Filing

Smile Filing is the art of archiving complimentary e-mails -- thumbs-up, a e-mail thank-you from the boss – and recycling them at critical moments…usually when the going gets rough. Managers in trouble often pull out notes from the Smile File so the recipients can be reminded of better days. Resume writers use them like Movie review raves.

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To: Mr Mach
From: Mr. Big
CC: Distribution
Subject: A ‘Feedback Moment’

Best presentation I’ve ever seen. Bravo! Bravo! Thank God we hired such a brilliant person!

Tactics: Holiday Chip-Shot(TM)

The Holiday Chip Shot is often the product of the slick and sneaky, but all to often it stems from neurotic, compulsive behavior. This is when a person ostensibly on holiday or vacation makes a surprise visit back to work via e-mail. Sometimes it’s abrupt: “Hey guys, just checking in – believe me, this is the ONLY time I’ll be on e-mail.” Other times, the person on vacation might ever-so-subtly chip-in on an existing e-mail back and forth…as though he or she is out there reviewing every conversation. This person can’t stand being out of the loop, and never wants to turn off work.

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To: Distribution List
From: Mr. Mack (ostensibly on vacation)
Subject: Per the Discussion Below

I agree with Steve and Mary’s point, but disagree with Tom and Mike. Joe may be on to something. Just my quick thoughts!

Tactics: The Paparazzi Pass-Along

Beware of those who smear! The “Paparazzi Pass-Along” is when an enemy or foe spreads embarrassing nuggets via e-mail. It might be an incriminating photo from one’s college days or a less-than-flattering e-mail. It might even be a poorly worded memo or e-mail argument history proved wrong…severely wrong!

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To: Distribution
From: Mr. Mack
Bcc: Mr. Big
Subject: You Won’t Believe This!

Guess who burned the flag while in college!

Tactics: The Time Delay

Timing is everything when it comes to e-mail. The shrewd practitioner of the “Time Delay” will lurk in the shadows after a group e-mail is sent, observing the first or second wave of responses and then opportunistically jumping in at just the right time. Often, this person will respond to the very first e-mail as though he or she never saw the responses (earning the apt-name “Response Pirate”) The time delay also allows you to watch others fall into e-mail traps before you jump in.

Tactics: The Time Stamp

In so many organizations, adept understanding of the so-called ‘politics of credit’ is critical. Making sure you get credit when you deserve it is equally critical. Hence, the “Time Stamp” is an e-mail sent to others that may or may not be taken seriously at a given time, but if the idea ever gains currency – even beyond your own influence – you can always dust off the old e-mail (exact hour and date included) to make sure the historical record notes your early contribution.

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To: Mr. Big
From: Mr. Mack
Subject: See Attachment

Regarding that idea from Manager Joe you love so much, see the attached e
mail I sent you two months ago. Recall, I proposed the same idea! Look forward to my bonus!

Tactics: Idea Squatting

Like “domain name squatting,” this tactic involves the use of e-mail correspondence to “time-stamp” as many ideas, proposals, and recommendations as possible, dusting them off at the just the right time to ensure they either receive due credit or that the organization denies full credit to an adversary. The folks who employ this strategy realize that e-mail provides living, breathing proof (remember…it’s all chiseled in stone) that they beat others to the punch.

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To: Mr. Big
From: Mr. Mack
Subject: Nothing Urgent, Just Some Ideas to Consider

Not sure if we’ll ever make use of these, but here are fifty ideas we mightconsider for the future.

Tactics: The Legal "Lead-In"

This tactic, gaining in popularity thanks to Enron, Anderson, WorldCom and ImClone, is designed to help the shrewd and sneaky shield themselves from incriminating scrutiny. These e-mails, always sure to make heads turn, typically open with something like “Prepared at the Request of Counsel.” Sending e-mail in this format can protect folks from self-incrimination or efforts to “open up the e-mail books” if there is a legal proceeding.

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To: Mr. Big
From: Mr. Mack
Subject: PREPARED AT THE REQUEST OF COUNSEL!

This memo addresses last night’s shredding party.

Tactics: The E-nnoculation Shot

This relates to both the “Time Stamp” and “Idea Squatting,” and while it can protect the instigator (hence the “e-nnoculation” effect), it can put the recipient in a vulnerable position. This is when employees shoot ideas or comments – even informal ones -- up the management chain, knowing that if things get ugly, they can always claim they gave their manager a heads-up about the situation. The tactic is a bit dangerous as it can create a mess of problems for the receiving manager who would rather not acknowledge that the issue was brought to his or her attention.

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To: Mr. Big
From: Mr. Mack
Subject: Something Funny in Accounting

Probably nothing, but I noticed the accountants were dusting off the shredder last night.

Tactics: Batchmailing

Let’s say you’ve got some really good scoop to share – competitive intelligence or a real breakthrough idea. Something that’s inherently viral. The “Batch Mailer” never sends a document in one mass e-mail distribution, but carefully divides the e-mail in strategic batches, understanding quite well, that the “batches” will cross fertilize one another with “new” news. Before you know it, key parties are receiving your competitive assessment from three and four sources…within hours. The best and most effective batch mailers have an adept understanding of word-of-mouth. Indeed, these folks understand how movements are created.

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To: Team C
From: Mr. Mack
Subject: Thoughts from Competitive Strategy Session

There are three initiatives our top competitor has taken we should internalize.

To: Team C
From: Mr. Mack
Subject: Thoughts from Competitive Strategy Session

There are three initiatives our top competitor has taken we should internalize.

To: Team C
From: Mr. Mack
Subject: Thoughts from Competitive Strategy Session

There are three initiatives our top competitor has taken we should internalize.

Tactics: Gametrapping

This is when someone sends e-mail to an entire distribution list hoping to snare an unsuspecting target to respond (usually in error) to the entire group. The “Game Trapper” tries to force adversaries to take sides prematurely, especially when they know how others will most assuredly pounce on the first responder. They also know that it is extremely difficult to unwind a bad response.

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To: Distribution
From: Mr. Mack
Bcc: Mr. Big
Subject: It’s Time For Us to Take A Position!

Team – it’s time for us to better articulate our major concerns to Mr. Big! We need to be united as a team? And we need to be upfront and candid. Thoughts?

Tactics: Spambushing

This is the ultimate act of revenge, usually taken against someone sending you a healthy dose of unsolicited e-mail. Spambushing involves sending an unrelenting barrage of e-mail (often file-heavy) mail to spammers…at least until the spammer cries “Uncle.”

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To: Distribution
From: Mr. Mack
Bcc: Mr. Big
Subject: Per the Piece of Junk Mail Below

This vendor below has spammed us one time too many! Here’s his address, his
internet service provider, and the e-mail of his lame investor. Go get em!

Tactics: Viral Sandbagging

E-mail can take on a life of is own, and if you are on the receiving end of an out-of-control e-mail wave, things can get ugly (and professionally damaging) faster than spam on steroids. Viral sandbagging is the practice of deflating or arresting snowballing e-mail flows…. usually with comments like “we’ve already covered this” or “the boss will freak if he hears about us talking this.”

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To: Distribution
From: Mr. Mack
Subject: RE: TOP TEN REASONS MR. MACH IS KISSING ASS TO MR. BIG

Is this déjà vu! Let’s at least get original. This is recycled e-mail.

Personalities: The "Flame Thrower"

The Flame Thrower knows how to create chaos in an organization, and work the crowd into a cascading e-mail frenzy. They often lurk in the shadows of all-office e-mail distribution list, and wait for the perfect time to strike. If, for example, the entire office is on an “NCAA March Madness” e-mail list, the Flame Thrower will toss a comment suggesting the favored team “sucks.” Before long, the Flame Thrower’s opening salvo is lost in a sea of acrimonious e-mail back and forth.

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To: Distribution List
From: Mr. Mach
Subject: Martin Luther King Holiday!

I’m a little confused about why we have Martin Luther
King’s birthday off but not Columbus Day?

Personalities: The "Selective Editor"

Often e-mail is loaded with many points – some critical, some not so critical. The selective editor is one who forwards another person’s e-mail to others, but not before making a few selective edits. Often the edits are self-serving, and conveniently omit self-incriminating information. This person loves to “cut and paste.”

Personalities: The "Armed Alermist"

Ever received the same warning about the not opening up e-mail that’s refers to “Good Times” – a hundred times. Chances, are, the e-mail “Alarmist” in your organization is at work. This person feels a deep, almost paranoid, sense of obligation for getting the word out about e-mail viruses, programs that leak, and the like

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To: Distribution List; Mr. Big; Manager Joe
From: The Alarmist
Subject: Re: Re: Re: “GOOD TIMES” virus

Everyone should know that if you receive an e-mail with “Good Times”anywhere in the subject header, DO NOT open it up under any circumstance. It will destroy all files on your computer.

Personalities: The "Digital Diarrheaist"

These are the folks who have never heard the expression “brevity is the soul of wit!” Every e-mail is a mini-novel, a life story, or government report on farm subsidies. Moreover, they actually believe folks actually read their endless diatribes.

Personalities: The "Reply All Rebel"

We all know this person! Sometimes the victim of the “Game Trapper,” other times just acting our his or her stupidity, the “Reply All Rebel,” his the REPLY ALL button on even the most insignificant of e-mails. Many offices have pending policies to censure these folks.

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To: Distribution List (All)
From: Mr. Mack
CC: Mr. Mike

Subject: Re: Re; Re: Re: How to find the bathroom! Mike….Great question. Attached is my personal map to the bathroom!

Personalities: The "Pack Rat"

Every office has the online equivalent of the “Bag Lady” – someone who loves to collect and distribute “stuff.” Like the cat who leaves chewed up mouse remains on the owner’s doorstep, the “Pack Rat” loves to collect things on the internet and dump them on the e-mail doorstep of folks in the office. It could be a link, a new website, a dumb e-mail joke, or an animated flashfile. Just about anything!

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To: Distribution List (All)
From: The Pack Rat
Subject: My Latest Find

Check out this cool website I found from the Washington Elementary School. The kids have posted digital versions of their artwork on the site.

Personalities: The "Insistant Messager"

Usually a new-immigrant or just an overly friendly adopter of new technologies. You can spot this predator by the affable abuse of abbreviations (IMHO, ROTFLMAO), and their uncanny ability to interrupt your work with enticing introductions when you are working furiously to meet a deadline. It is best to stay out of chat rooms and ignore the Insistent Messager - unless you really want to make a new friend.

Personalities: The "Proud Router"

This is your quintessential “connector.” The Proud Router loves to forward things on behalf of others – he or she loves enabling Bankshopts or giving Assists. By definition, they are “social connectors” and they love to bring folks together, make introductions, and take credit for matchmaking. The fact that e-mail makes a practice they love so easy puts their activity on steroids.

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To: Mr. Big, Mr. Joe
From: The Proud Router
Subject: A Quick E-Mail Introduction

Mr. Big – meet Joe. Joe – meet Mr. Big. You two should really connect. You both have great ideas, and I think you’ll get along great.

About the Authors - Marc Ratner (Illustrator)

Marc, a student of linguistics, traveled the globe doing time as a kibbutznik, ashram resident, ClubMed set designer, and graduate student at the California Institute of the Arts' school of Film and Video.  He has worked primarily as an animation artist for a variety of studios including the Fox Family Channel, Nickelodeon, Film Roman, and Klasky Csupo- where he had what may well be the briefest career of anyone ever to do layouts on 'The Simpsons.' Marc is currently a faculty member at both Mission College and College of the Canyons in southern California.  He teaches animation courses including character design and story development.

About the Authors - Pete Blackshaw (Writer)

Pete, a student of political theory, darted off to Florence (er, Sacramento) for five years of political work for the California Governor and Los Angeles based State Senator Art Torres (who also happened to be a slug) , only to quickly capitulate to the world of Harvard Business School and later corporate America (Procter and Gamble).   Pete started his P&G career working Bounty paper towels, absorbing all the marketing skills (and spills) to be had, but quickly shifted gears to interactive marketing.  He co-founded P&G’s first interactive marketing team, and eventually got his mug on the cover of Advertising Age magazine as one of the nation’s top interactive marketers.  Pete then started (and survived) an internet venture, PlanetFeedback, which is now a top consumer feedback service. He now is co-Chief Marketing Officer and Customer Satisfaction Officer of Intelliseek, a company that merged with PlanetFeedback about a year ago. He reads and writes e-mail daily.

About Machiavelli - A Quick Bio

Niccolo Machiavelli was born in 1469 and was one of the most tragically misunderstood figures ever to enter political life. Never a prince himself, or even a CEO, Machiavelli was among the true masters of the Italian renaissance right up there with Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and that other ninja turtle. His name has become a part of the vernacular and perhaps, more importantly, his ideas permeate our business world and office memoranda.

Yet, he is remembered for all the wrong reasons. To utter the word ˜Machiavellian™” is to suggest cynicism, cruelty, cunning, and for some, tasty meat-filled pasta morsels that come in a can. Yet he was so much more. We can learn a great deal from Machiavelli today, though perhaps not by his good example.

After a string of lousy jobs, Niccolo became head of homeland security for his beloved Florence. There he honed his skills of statecraft, schmoozing, and strategic bootlicking. Some of the boots he licked belonged to the fabulously wealthy and powerful Medici family. Unfortunately, there were so many Medici, Niccolo apparently got confused and licked the wrong boots. In 1512, he was dismissed from court and tortured. He spent most of his later years impoverished, in exile, and with much time on his hands.

The upside to all this is that Machiavelli did some of his best writing while pining away for employment in the Tuscan tooleys. His masterpiece The Prince™ was a brilliant appeal for work submitted to Lorenzo (the magnificent) Medici. Niccolo’s ˜ideal prince”™ was probably modeled on Cesare Borgia who invited political opponents to dinner and had them slaughtered before the main course. Though replete with fascinating historical references and keen insights into military organization, ˜The Prince”™ is today read only by college freshmen. It did not get him a job.

Also not for sale at airport book kiosks is his stunningly overlong ˜The Discourses™” which is rarely read by college freshmen, and a lewd theatrical comedy entitled ˜La Madrigola™ which is never performed. Niccolo Machiavelli was eventually invited back to do diplomatic work for the Florentine government in 1526. He was buried in Santa Croce the following year. It would all have gone so much better for Niccolo if he had a Gmail account.

Personalities: The "Blind Copy Terrorist"

To cc or not to cc?

Ever received an e-mail that is copied to just about everyone, except that you, curiously, are “blind copied.” Alas, there’s a good chance the “Blind Copy Terrorist” is at work. This tactic is a sure ingredient for anxiety and insecurity. Imagine if Jan Brady was blind copied on a family outing e-mail while the rest of the Brady Bunch, including Alice, received it directly. The “Blind Copy Terrorist” loves to leave you in doubt about where you stand!

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To: Everyone Except Joe
From: Mr. Big
BCC: Joe
Subject: Upcoming Team meeting

Here’s the game plan for Friday’s team meeting. Everyone should be there!

Tactics: The "Assist"

The Assist is a Bank Shot in reverse. Often e-mail will show up clearly in need of an “assist” – that is, it may be more effective for you, versus the originator, to forward it to the intended recipient. This practice is typically pre-worked among work colleagues seeking mutual support. E-mails with attached resumes often work through the “assist” cycle. The shrewd e-mailer recognizes that a scorecard full of e-mail “assists” amounts to a bank account of “bank shots” for easy withdrawal.

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To: Mr Big @office.com
From: Mack@office.com
Bcc: Friend in Need
Subject: Did You See This?

Just received this from Mr. Mack. It’s very good. Give it a skim!

About the Authors - Pete & Marc

Pete Blackshaw (author) and Marc Ratner (artist) met while dodging normal school work at the University of California at Santa Cruz to produce the FishRap, a take-no-prisoners humor rag that survives to this day only because the writing obviously improved. Along the way, they pooled creative and business talents to create and brand a popular logo for UC Santa Cruz's then-new and now-infamous mascot, the Banana Slug.  Good old fashioned luck and guerrilla marketing conspired to put Marc and Pete’s logo on tens of thousands of t-shirts, in a feature story in People Magazine, and emblazzoned on John Travolta in cult film Pulp Fiction.